Peace-talk After 8 Years

It was on the second to the last Sunday night of February this year when my father, mother, and I talked. We were in our living room and I was drinking tea and my father and mother were writing their class records. We talked because my sister, after receiving her “baon” for tomorrow, thanked only my mother. She kissed her on the cheek and and repeatedly said that she thanked her very much. My mother asked her if she would not say “thank you” to father. My sister just smiled, and reluctantly, and annoyingly, and sarcastically said, “thank you.” She (my sister) did not even looked at father or even faced his direction. After saying, she went straight upstairs. Mother, angry and dismayed, scolded us for that. Usually, in cases in which I am not directly involved, i will say that I am out of the story and therefor, if they want to scold my sister, I must not be included. But that night, it was different.

We had family quarrels before, but none of us had the chance to work things out because father might just beat us. Almost all of our family quarrels ended unsolved because of his threats of beating us. Not to have another problem unsettled, I asked if we, as family, could talk, just talk. I expected my father to get furious but miraculously, he did not.

We talked about why we (my sister and i) are not so close to our father, their expectations on me, on us, their hopes, their dreams for us, family bond, father-son bond, closeness, almost everything related to family. I already finished drinking my tea and still our talk did not end yet. There were times we had a dead air and the the only thing to hear was the sound of the television that was actually left on to create an extra noise. . We also talked about their childhood and how they were by our grandparents and then compared it to the way (my parents) raised us.

It was like an open forum. It was like a peace-talk between rebels and the government. But I am so glad that we had that talk. For the first time,my father listened to my side, and I listened to his side, too. My relationship with my father is a lot better now. I realized, no family problem cannot be solved if both parties will listen to each other's side, and settle the problem for the betterment of the parties involved. Too bad for me because it's been too long before we talked. If we talked long, long, before, our father-son bond would be much stronger by now. I also realized that if there is a problem, it must not be left unsolved. The problem must be settled as soon as possible.

Since we had that talk, whenever my father and I have conversation, I thank God for that talk. I should have done it before, but anyway, I am still so thankful that we now have a growing, father-son bond. I thank God for giving us that first open forum in nine years.

Three Days Before October

There are many people in this world. Each person has his own personality and capabilities, as well as incapabilities. Each is unique. Each is distinct from the other in some ways. Out of this pool of people, some standout among the rest.

The people that someone sees standing out the crowd may not be the same people you see outshining others. Each person sees others in a way different from how the other person views others. Some people you see you will understand, some you will not, some you do not understand each other,and some, do not understand you. As for me, these "kinds of understandings" are just usual. I do not remember when exactly did I start having this feeling of being not understood, but since I was a child, I all ready had trouble finding true friends. Later, I just got immuned from the fact that people around me do not understand me, not even my own family.

But still, out of this pool who do not understand me, out of this same people I encounter everyday, somehow, someone, did something ecactly the opposite. This girl is so, so different. Unlike others, she believes in me. She gives me faith, something that I seldom get. Unlike others, she accepts me. I know she could turn away from me, but she did not. I thought she will just leave just like what others did, but she stayed. She stayed and listened. For a long time, I never had someone who is willing to listen to me. Unlike others, she gave me a chance to get out of my shell and show the real me. She gave me a chance to have a friend. She understands me. She gave me the kind of understanding that I never felt for so many years. She gave me the kind of understanding I need the most.

This girl has the ability to see things beyond appearances. She sees in someone things that even that someone does not see it inside him himself. I used to feel empty even when I am already filled with anger and hatred. But, she made me realize and see some goodness in me. She makes me feel how it is to overflow with love. She brings out the best in me. Also, I never really thought that we will be as close as sharing our ups and downs. She gives me a shoulder to lean and cry on. She gives me hope and courage and strength to stand up every after fall. For so many years, I found a friend, and the bestfriend actually. I am so blessed to have her in my life. I do not really know how to thank her. Words are not enough to say how much she means to me. I love her. I love her more than I can show or say.

To the girl- Bai*, salamat kaayo**. I love you.

*Bai- we call each other bai
**Thank you very much.